I have been busy lately and have failed to update this page. This post includes things I did last friday and saturday.
I was too busy with office work, but still took some time out and went out with my sister. We did all the chindi shopping. Ghar ate ate das baj gaye.
|Few cupcakes from display which we had..Yummmm|
We had our office party named 'Atos Utsav 2013' with theme 'Mumbai Meri Jaan'. This day I consider to be one of a milestone or a breakthrough in my life. Why? Well on this day I went out for the first time with my prosthesis without cosmetic covering. I am a very proud owner of a microprocessor based knee but I was always scared to display it. Scared that if someone comes to know of my disability, then they will unnecessarily take advantage of it, esp thieves. Scared of people's reaction towards disability and its perceptions.
The other day when I wrote about Invisibility Cloak, I thought even my prosthesis wears that cloak, why not remove it and see it myself. You wont believe how I felt. I felt like I had wings to fly. I was confident from the moment i wore it. I knew that this was one way how I could break open from my shackles/restraints and I did it. I had a 'terminator' look sprinkled with little sweetness. I definitely got many stares ( Which I ignored :D). It was very difficult for a shy person like me to go in a public place without a cosmetic covering and that too in a party. How did I manage?
1) My prosthesis looks very good in itself and it does not need a covering to hide its beauty,
2) I thought that If I can go out in public on my crutches, why cannot I go w/o a cover,
3) I dont know how could I have managed without support of my friends.
But I want to write about a few things that kept me wondering. When I wore shorts, I felt some strange vibes from people. I felt that they felt I was showing off my leg. Well nobody said that in exact words but a few people tried to make me feel comfortable(which i never needed) by saying that 'at first people will feel that you are showing off, will feel that if you have disability, its understandable but there is no need to openly display it in front of everyone. But at some point of time will get used to it.' I was shocked to hear such things from them. I felt that what they told me to comfort, were actually things they wanted to tell me. Then I felt that many people would have felt the same when they saw me. I feel sad for them. Well you are educated but you lack a thing called as feelings. I do not ( and never have) seek sympathy. All I need is free will to express -> Independence. If I show off or display my prosthetic, what is the problem? Every other female there were showing their well toned bodies. No one cares who wears what, then why was I suddenly made a topic of discussion? Why was me wearing shorts(they were very decent and in no way I was breaking any code of display) and displaying my prosthesis a big deal? Its my thing, my leg. We as Indians have a lot to grow and a lot to accept.
I want to make this world see all forms of humans, able and disabled both. Beautiful and ugly too. This is how life is here and everyone needs to accept it. Neither you can change your present nor your future, then why is there so much hype about 'change'? I wish people get so used to disability that at the end, a person's heart is what they see. I wish to see such change in the world. I am sure that is going to happen in near future.
I Enjoyed a lot at the event and things turned out to be in my favour everytime. I did face some unwanted stares but I accepted them. At one time I got angry and asked a person not to stare ;) ( This is how I have learnt to deal with them). But in all I had fun. I wrote these thing little late because my perception about things changed daily. The day this event occurred, my mind had nothing but bliss. I felt content and happy. Suddenly my invisibility cloak was lifted and a new me came into picture. My ideas changed after a few pics of mine got posted on facebook and I started getting comments on my beautiful leg and others's perceptions.
I also want to tell you all one thing, people do have a power to change the state of your mind and they will keep on saying things coz they dont know you. You just need to associate yourself with people that inspire you, people that help you rise higher in ideas and life, people that make you a better human. You need to ignore those people that are not adding to your growth. Because for you, your journey is more important then people itself.
BTW check out my snaps at the event.
|With my Dear friend|
After this utsav thing, I am suddenly excited and do one new thing daily. Like I go for drives, I work late night, I go out to eat, meet friends, do diwali cleaning (uff thakawat bhara kaam), and one day I gave a rose to a rickshawala as I did not have two rupees as change to pay him. But I have been too busy lately to even update this page. You can inbox me to know new stuff that I did. Till then take care.