To do ten things that I am afraid to do

I have decided to again write this blog and be active here for sometime. Things are moving smooth for me. After winning silver at BWF Para-Badminton World Championship, I am getting a lot of appreciation for my work. I have been given with more and more opportunities lately and I have started to be more vocal about para-sports and about my disability. I am doing one thing that I was extremely scared of - ie. Public speaking. 

I was invited to speak on stage for the first time by my engineering college. This was in Oct 2015 after the worlds to share my tournament experience and about my journey from a regular amputee to a para- sportsperson. To my surprise, I did a good job and there was no looking back. After that I have been invited to address students of various schools and colleges throughout India. Inaugurated various events in Mumbai as well as in various parts of the country. I am right now giving lectures in India's top Management schools and Engineering colleges. I have been invited by top government organisations and corporate companies to talk to their employees about my journey and share my experiences. This makes me believe that we as people are progressing and we are being more and more inclusive towards people with different needs. It makes me happy when people message me saying how their life has changed after knowing my story or meeting me. 

I am able to feel all this only because I overcame my fear of public speaking. 

I have realised that I still am afraid to do so many things and some because I feel completely safe in my comfort zone. I have now decided to do ten things that I am afraid to do or I am scared of doing. It does not include skydiving, or bungee jumping, or getting a tattoo as they are not what I do regularly and by doing them, my life is not going to change. 

I want to do ten things that I need to do right now that I am too scared of doing. I still have not figured them out and I don't want to  be bounded by time but yes by the end of 2016, I must be able to strike off those ten items. 

Some things that I can think of right now are:

1) Being in the driver's seat and riding my own car. (Right now I lack that confidence too)

2) No activity on social media. (Whom will I talk to if not on whatsapp or facebook or twitter?) 

3) Leaving Mumbai and be happy about it. (I'm going to cry like crazy away from the city I love the most)

4) I have fear of heights, need to conquer it.

5) I am too lazy to monitor my bank account but lately I am spending too much on unnecessary things that I don't even require (like unnecessarily spending money on traveling, cabs, food, clothes etc.). I will try to minimize the outflow and travel by public transport whenever convenient.

6) Swimming in deep waters

7) Watching horror movies (sounds lame, but no, it isn't)

8) Wasting too much time, energy, money on wrong people, things, ideas or places. 

I cannot think of more things that I am afraid of, I am sure within a few days the list will have 100s of entries and I will choose the best 10 and try to do it.

I will keep you all updated. 

Mail me what are those ten things that you are afraid of at joshimanasi11@gmail.com 

Waiting to hear from you guys.

Para-Badminton Journey

Hello everyone,
Thank you for stopping by on my page,I am writing this after ages.

Here is a small piece that I wrote for my office that I am pasting here.

Para-Badminton Journey- Manasi Joshi

Hello Everyone, I am Manasi Joshi, an Indian para-athlete working in Atos India from Dec 2010. I have recently got selected for Para-Badminton World Championship 2015 to be held at Stoke Mandeville, UK and I am sharing my journey about how I became an International player with you all.

I started playing Badminton when I was 10 and got trained under coaches from Department of Atomic Energy Sports council. Over the years I had the opportunity to represent my school, college, and corporate at various tournaments.
On 2nd Dec 2011, on my way to work, I met with a road accident and lost my leg and mobility to it. After 45 days of hospitalization and 3 more months of recovery,  numerous hospital visits, rehabilitation and prosthetic fitment, I was back on my new leg. It was extremely overwhelming to be standing on both my legs again and I can never forget the look on my parent's face when they saw me relearn to walk.

After the accident, I played my 1^st tournament in August 2012 at Atos Mumbai Badminton championship and won 1^st position in women’s singles.  It boosted my confidence to such an extent that I started having faith in myself playing Badminton again. That was the time when I was learning to walk and was trying to adapt to my disability. Soon I started working on my skills and walking, so I could get rid of the crutches that had become a part of my identity.  It took me months of hard-work, perseverance and patience to walk properly without support. I still remember when I first time I went to office without an extra crutch, I was greeted with lots of appreciation and applause from my friends and team mates.

Later I started moving on with my life and Badminton took a back seat. I practiced occasionally because of issues related to my prosthetic fitting and there were times where for months I never practiced. In June 2014, I gave myself a new goal, to lose the accumulated kilos and gain my lost muscle strength. Those daily targets and weight training in gym, walking, etc., made me realize the importance of human body and its wonder. That time I played again in Atos Badminton tournament and again won 1^st position in Women’s singles.  I realized that I can play whatever I want and I must pursue and push myself further. In August 2014, I represented Maharashtra and showed my skills at National level to selectors of Sports Authority of India at Selection trials for Asian Games 2014, Incheon, Korea. I didn’t get selected for Asian Games but realized how people with disabilities play and perform at National level. I was overwhelmed with the memories that I collected there. Then in December 2014, I played my 1^st National level tournament at Mumbai and won a silver medal. I had played against the world no. 1 and Arjuna awardee, and Rashtrapati padak winner, Parul Parmar which was my biggest honor. That tournament was my selection for Spanish International.

For Spanish International tournament, I practiced for two hours a day during weekdays and 4 hours a day during weekends. I did shadow practice in whatever free time I could get in between work. The 5^th Spanish Para-badminton International Championship was held in a beautiful city of Alcudia in Mallorca, Balearic Islands, Spain. Tournament was organized by Badminton World Federation and Spanish Para-badminton Association.  We stayed in the most beautiful part of Spain and took out one day from our schedule to roam around the Island on the last day after the tournament.

BWF classifies athletes on the basis of their disability to different categories. I was classified as SL3 i.e. Standing with Lower extremity affected class 3 and SL3 play on a half-court. All people having issues in the femur region are classified to this category. There are other categories like SL4 (Standing Lower Extremity with issues with Tibia and fibula), SU5 (Standing with disability in Upper Extremity), SS6 (Short Stature or dwarf), WH1 (Wheelchair 1), WH2 (Wheelchair 2). I could have been classified either as WH2 or SL3 but I preferred playing standing as I had never used a wheelchair to play badminton. After classification, we had our practice time allotted to Team India. I met my mixed doubles partner, Vikram Kumar, SL3 from Chhattisgarh. In whatever time that was given to us, we coordinated and learnt about each other’s weaknesses and strengths and analyzed a plan for our matches. My women’s’ doubles partner was Parul Parmar, the star player of the country. We practiced together and planned for our doubles matches ahead.

In the evening of 26^th March, the BWF website had updated with the draws and I had my mixed doubles matches with Vikram on 27^thMarch. On 28^th March, I had my Women’s doubles and my singles matches. 29^th was kept for finals. That day I also came to know that as females in SL3 category were less, so I had to play with higher categories like SL4 and SL5 in full court. (SL3 category has higher disability so they play in half court only). Also because there were few teams registered for Women’s doubles, the event had to be cancelled but we were given an option to compete against men in their doubles. We accepted that challenge and we agreed to play against men.

For our mixed doubles match our group had three pairs and we had to play in Round Robin in it. Our first mixed doubles match was against a pair from England/ Denmark. We lost straight sets. Second match was against a pair From Norway. We won one match and lost the other two.  I and Vikram got a hang of the tournament by losing with first pair that we were confident that we would win with Norway. Vikram knew the game, he was a senior player and he could understand the weak points of our opponents. 1st match was a very tight match and we lost by a difference of two points 22-24. We won the second match also and we were ready to win the third and final match too. But In the end, a team with more experience won. And I and Vikram were happy we could play well.  After losing 2 matches, we were out of Mixed doubles competition.

28^th March, I was ready to play doubles with Parul and we had four teams in our group- Three pairs of men and one pair of us females. Parul knew every player and she knew everybody’s game. She encouraged me to play my game and be confident about our pair. We knew we were to be defeated and we stood only one chance to win and that was against a fellow Indian Parveen Kumar and his French partner Pascal. We took that chance and converted. The rest two pairs were difficult to win as one from Malaysia were seeded players.

My singles matches were tough as I had to play full court against people with lower disabilities. I could have quit but played anyway. At the end I competed for a bronze medal and 4^th position bronze medal against German player Katrin Stewart (SL4) against whom I lost.

I was praised by people for showing a brave face and competing against higher categories which I took as a positive sign. I learnt a lot of things from everyone there and lived a new life which I never imagined for me, a life of a sports player.

I came home and was greeted as a hero here.  I learnt that nothing comes easy in life and you need to work hard every time you need something.

My 1^st international tournament was a turning point of my life and gave me so many opportunities.   I learnt more about sports, disability, humanity, knowledge and a complicated thing called adaptation by human body. I have learnt not to focus on what I have lost or my imperfections, but what I have gained and what I have to offer to the world.

After the Spanish tournament, I again got selected for 2^nd Indonesian International Open at Solo city, Indonesia, which I couldn’t go due to unavailability of sponsorships as well as issues with my prosthetic fitment. In July 2015, I got selected in the Indian Squad for BWF Para-badminton World Championships to be held at Stoke Mendeville, England. It still is a dream come true for me. I am working extremely hard for this event and I am sure this tournament is going to be one another chapter to my new found dream and passion. I request all Atosians in UK to come for the tournament and cheer the Indian Para-Badminton team. Tournament will be start from 10^th Sept, 2015 to 13^th Sept, 2015 at Mandeville Stadium. More information can be found on BWF website or you can contact me directly.

This whole experience and growth as an individual wouldn’t have been possible without the support Atos India provided me for the Spanish International Open. It has opened doors to many new avenues. Atos approved my sponsorship and made sure all my boarding, lodging, visa etc. are taken care of by the company. My friends Trina, Ashwin, Varsha, my project manager, Sagar Mogare and all my team mates, Jasbinder, Nikhil, Asraf, Himansu, and Aadil supported me throughout. I am extremely blessed to be a part of this organization.  Thank you everyone for having faith in me and supporting me. It means a lot to me.

I have learnt a secret to achieving your success, and that is honesty, hard-work and optimism. I have reached wherever I am with these three in me. Sports have power of uplifting and that is what it has done to me. I have still miles to go and a lot to work upon but I am sure that with dedication and perseverance I will reach where I need to be. My new goal is Paralympics 2020, Tokyo. 

To new found passion. Cheers.

-Manasi Joshi

joshimanasi11@gmail.com

I missed few days here on this blog

I have been busy lately and have failed to update this page. This post includes things I did last friday and saturday.

Friday: 

I was too busy with office work, but still took some time out and went out with my sister. We did all the chindi shopping. Ghar ate ate das baj gaye.

Few cupcakes from display which we had..Yummmm

Saturday:

We had our office party named 'Atos Utsav 2013' with theme 'Mumbai Meri Jaan'. This day I consider to be one of a milestone or a breakthrough in my life. Why? Well on this day I went out for the first time with my prosthesis without cosmetic covering. I am a very proud owner of a microprocessor based knee but I was always scared to display it. Scared that if someone comes to know of my disability, then they will unnecessarily take advantage of it, esp thieves. Scared of people's reaction towards disability and its perceptions. 

The other day when I wrote about Invisibility Cloak, I thought even my prosthesis wears that cloak, why not remove it and see it myself. You wont believe how I felt. I felt like I had wings to fly. I was confident from the moment i wore it. I knew that this was one way how I could break open from my shackles/restraints and I did it. I had a 'terminator' look sprinkled with little sweetness. I definitely got many stares ( Which I ignored :D). It was very difficult for a shy person like me to go in a public place without a cosmetic covering and that too in a party. How did I manage?

1) My prosthesis looks very good in itself and it does not need a covering to hide its beauty,

2) I thought that If I can go out in public on my crutches, why cannot I go w/o a cover,

3) I dont know how could I have managed without support of my friends.

But I want to write about a few things that kept me wondering. When I wore shorts, I felt some strange vibes from people. I felt that they felt I was showing off my leg. Well nobody said that in exact words but a few people tried to make me feel comfortable(which i never needed) by saying that 'at first people will feel that you are showing off, will feel that if you have disability, its understandable but there is no need to openly display it in front of everyone. But at some point of time will get used to it.' I was shocked to hear such things from them. I felt that what they told me to comfort, were actually things they wanted to tell me. Then I felt that many people would have felt the same when they saw me. I feel sad for them. Well you are educated but you lack a thing called as feelings. I do not ( and never have) seek sympathy. All I need is free will to express -> Independence. If I show off or display my prosthetic, what is the problem? Every other female there were showing their well toned bodies. No one cares who wears what, then why was I suddenly made a topic of discussion? Why was me wearing shorts(they were very decent and in no way I was breaking any code of display) and displaying my prosthesis a big deal? Its my thing, my leg. We as Indians have a lot to grow and a lot to accept.

I want to make this world see all forms of humans, able and disabled both. Beautiful and ugly too. This is how life is here and everyone needs to accept it. Neither you can change your present nor your future, then why is there so much hype about 'change'? I wish people get so used to disability that at the end, a person's heart is what they see. I wish to see such change in the world. I am sure that is going to happen in near future. 

I Enjoyed a lot at the event and things turned out to be in my favour everytime. I did face some unwanted stares but I accepted them. At one time I got angry and asked a person not to stare ;) ( This is how I have learnt to deal with them). But in all I had fun. I wrote these thing little late because my perception about things changed daily. The day this event occurred, my mind had nothing but bliss. I felt content and happy. Suddenly my invisibility cloak was lifted and a new me came into picture. My ideas changed after a few pics of mine got posted on facebook and I started getting comments on my beautiful leg and others's perceptions.

I also want to tell you all one thing, people do have a power to change the state of your mind and  they will keep on saying things coz they dont know you. You just need to associate yourself with people that inspire you, people that help you rise higher in ideas and life, people that make you a better human. You need to ignore those people that are not adding to your growth. Because for you, your journey is more important then people itself.

BTW check out my snaps at the event.

With my Dear friend

Foodies

After this utsav thing, I am suddenly excited and do one new thing daily. Like I go for drives, I work late night, I go out to eat, meet friends, do diwali cleaning (uff thakawat bhara kaam), and one day I gave a rose to a rickshawala as I did not have two rupees as change to pay him.  But I have been too busy lately to even update this page. You can inbox me to know new stuff that I did. Till then take care.

Day Ten : Tan tana tan tan tan tara..

I have given this title just because I finished hearing this song..
Tan tana tan tan tan tara..
(in slow voice- Tan tana tan tan tan tara..)
chalti hai kya nau se baara...

Yesterday my sister told me a sentence and I kept thinking abt it for very long. She said that happiness is just a phase, otherwise we are all frustrated in our day today life. Yes, isnt it true? I felt it is true. Once there was a time when I had nothing, no tension, no frustration, no aim and thus happiness (Yes I was a kid at that time :P) Now, once you start having some aims, you get frustrated on not reaching them, if reached, then frustrated about future; college -> job tension ; job -> excellence and performance tension ; excelled then marriage tension ; married -> tension hi tension, bacche nahi hue toh na hone ka tension, bacche ho gaye toh unhi bacchon ka tension, health ka tension, family, friends ka tension. Budddhe ho gaye utne tension mein. Buddhe hone pe affection na milne ka tension, affection mila toh bimari ka tension and fir marne ka ya na marne ka tension..tension hi tension....baabbaa re..

How do you end this tension circle? I have no idea. Do you?

One more thing i realized yesterday. When I had nothing to do yesterday, I was frustrated. But when I keep myself busy, I get a lot of time. This is so weird  When you have a lot of time and are lazy, you feel that you have no time. But when you are busy and ideally have no time, you end up having extra time. Yesterday my routine made me its slave and being enslaved was what I was talking about when I started this mission. One thing I will tell you, being busy is a very difficult task..maan na padega busy logon ko.

From past many months, I am wearing this invisibility cloak and am trying to be invisible. I am taking no effort to be the real me ('an ass' and 'fun').I believe you should be an ass and should give others hard time intentionally and make them understand the real importance of yourself.(Currently, invisibility is my superpower) In Harry Potter books, cloak of invisibility was used to remain invisible or hide from danger. There was this deathly hallows denoted by triangle and invisibility cloak was used to hide from death too..lets leave the legend behind the cloak and come to a point. What I am saying is that I am just being invisible or I am camouflaging according to my surrounding and getting mixed. Why am I not being me? What is stopping me from putting forward my points? I should rather be a Bitch then a Bechari. It never takes extra effort to be yourself. because at the end, effort is what matters.

Whatever I wrote above was pure crap. Not at all related to my task. If you ask me Manasi, what new did you do today? I would say 'baby today I did one new thing'. Today i drove my scooter on my own without anyone sitting on the pillion. Yey. And I kept singing one of my fav. song: 

Apne jigar ko tham a ke baitho, apne jigar ko THAAM a ke baitho'
Ke,
Bandhi Kamariya pe saadi, ki aayi aab Aunty ki baari..
hey Aunty no. 1..Aunty no. 1.

And when I got home, my dad had bought new shoes for my Seeta-Geeta. Yeah, I have given my crutches names. The one on my Right is Seeta and the one on my left is Geeta. Now I will not slip unnecessarily because of them.

Mere Seeta Geeta

Their new Shoes.

And thus they  say 

वासांसि जीर्णानि यथा विहाय 
नवानि गृह्णाति नरो पराणि 
तथा शरीराणि विहाय जीर्णा -
न्यन्यानि संयाति नवानि देही||

Like we change clothes, the aatma or soul changes body and my Seeta-Geeta changed their shoes. After 3 days I did something worth writing. phew.

Dat Eight and Day nine : I fear such days

When I started with this assignments, I used to have those days where I would do nothing worth remembering(and now worth writing). I had same experience yesterday and I learnt nothing from it and it continued today too.

BORED.

How do people get energy to do things when they dont want to do anything? It is so difficult to do nothing because you never know when you are finished. Such were the days I would fear the most when I took up this task, 'one new thing a day'. What did I do today? I did nothing.

But now I promise myself and will follow my own lead and do regular things plus something extra. I am sure tomorrow I will have something nice to tell you all.

Day Seven : Nothing new

Ahhh...khoon chus ne aaya khoony monday.

We office goers hate monday and I am no exception. Today my day started on a funny note, I thought I had my afternoon shift so I logged in late but then I came to know that I had my normal shift. I am sure my TL would have been furious. haha

Even after signing this pact where I would do one new thing apart form old ordinary things, I could not do anything new today.
All I did was Yoga for an hour.
I am sure till Diwali, I will not have new things. Also what I did today was cleaning. Last time wale gamche and phatke chod diye. Aaj ek naya hathiyar mila :- Harpic and Jhadoo(they call it Kharata in marathi and Saaveno in Gujarati). Subah subah bathroom-toilet ki safai pe lag gayi. 
Now I know why females get excited on seeing Hussain.

Day Six: Dassera

Today I had my shift where I had to be in the office. I logged in from home and later on in the afternoon came to know that there was no work left. The very moment I signed off and did what I wanted.

Today Dussera and navmi was falls on the same day. We keep garba and my mother worships it for nine days. Usually in the evenings, we do prayers and sing garba songs for mother goddess. So today we did our prayers, garba songs and then offered our prayers for the last time. My mother had cooked delicious meal and my fav. - Churma ke laddoo. I hadd two big laddoos. ( I could have had more, but I couldnt keep my hands off other delicacies too. ) and lots of other sweets. ( My mom fasted for 9 days and lost a lot of weight and I gained utna hi)

I have been always excited about Dussera. When I used to stay in Vashi, we would give everyone 'sonya che paan' or 'sone ke patte' . These leaves look likes two hearts strategically placed and molded into one. Wehenever someone would give me a leaf, I would keep it in safe place. I still have old sone ke patte esp. ones given to me in college and also few that I had got in Pune. I do not remember who gave me which, but I have kept it. (I am a keeper :D). Always for Dussera, my dad would bring Jalebies (Which were replaced by 'Ghevars' on popular demands of us kids) and gaanthiya. And we kids would wash our car, scooter, cycle(we would touch our cycle only on Dusserra) and then we would do puja, tie garlands and stuff.

This year nothing of these above mentioned things happened. No sona ke patte; no jalebie, gehvars and gaanthiya ; and no puja too (everyone else did, I did not). 

But this year I did what I do every year without fail:- go for Ram leela and Raavan Dahan at  Godavari grounds. The fireworks(which I call as Aatishbaazi) that they put up are exotic. I love the live commentary of one uncle too.

- Yeh dekho Hawaiian Masala ;

- Yeh hai Jaadu ka nasha;

- Yeh gaya Kamra ka pin;

-Woh gaya apna Bengal tiger.

His commentary would make us enjoy the aatishbaazi show even more.

This year we enjoyed the show by sitting on my fav. bench(one of the very few benches with back support).

We clicked some pictures and almost all pics are captured by my photographer friend Ankita.